This, this is Greenspan’s curse Which started bad and ended worse Shit, shit is our credit worth To banks, the sons of Alan.
Enter CIA spooks.
O Video
Sung by the CIA to the tune of "O Tannenbaum"
O video, o video The evidence disgraced you O video, o video I must have just erased you
Not only in Guantanamo But anywhere combatants go O video, o video I think I just erased you
Enter American cable television viewers, waving remote controls.
Olbermann
Sung by American cable television viewers To the tune of "Silver Bells"
Bill O’Reilly Shrill O’Reilly Spews in everyday style On the air There’s a feeling That’s creepy Something awful Like falafel Spins out mile after mile So you switch from Fox only to hear
Olbermann Olbermann It’s Countdown time in the city Don’t you know Ratings grow When you’re not lying like Bill
Enter Democratic voters and the entire world.
Do You Hear What I Hear?
Sung by Democratic voters And the rest of the world To the tune of "Do You Hear What I Hear?"
Said the pundits to the folks at home, “Do you see what I see? Coming right at you, folks at home… Do you see what I see? A bomb, a bomb, landing on your head And Muslims under your bed, And Muslims under your bed.”
Said the people to the talking heads, “Do you hear what I hear? Listen very close, talking heads. Do you hear what I hear? The sound, the sound made without regrets Of the people turning off their sets, Of the people turning off their sets.”
Enter atheists, dressed in chic black robes.
Up on the Housetop
Sung by American atheists to the tune of "Up on the Housetop"
Up on the housetop reindeer flit Out jumps good old Romney, Mitt! Promising freedom for everyone — Not for the atheists, They’re no fun!
Flip, flip, flop! Where’s his voice? Flip, flip, flop! Pro-life or choice? Up on the housetop Flop, flop, flip! Magical Mormon Romney, Mitt!
Enter all American citizens.
The Twelve Days of Christmas
Sung by American citizens to the tune of "The Twelve Days of Christmas"
On the first day of Christmas the Bushies gave to me A war from the GOP
On the second day of Christmas the Bushies gave to me Two chickenhawks And a war from the GOP
On the third day of Christmas the Bushies gave to me Three tax cuts Two chickenhawks And a war from the GOP
On the fourth day of Christmas the Bushies gave to me Four lawyers lying Three tax cuts Two chickenhawks And a war from the GOP
On the fifth day of Christmas the Bushies gave to me Five trillion spent Four lawyers lying Three tax cuts Two chickenhawks And a war from the GOP
[skip to the last verse]
On the twelfth day of Christmas the Bushies gave to me Twelve investigations Eleven indictments Ten subpoenas Nine closet cases Eight years a-wasting Seven scandals stewing Six rogues resigning Five trillion spent Four lawyers lying Three tax cuts Two chickenhawks And a war from the GOP
Enter Skimble, who conducts a ragtag bunch of dirty liberal hippie bloggers wholesome chorus of middle-class Americans dressed in festive red, white and blue.
We Wish You a Mrs. Clinton
Sung by liberal bloggers, Democratic voters, the reality-based community, and wellwishers from around the globe to the tune of "We Wish You a Merry Christmas"
We wish you a Mrs. Clinton, We wish you Barack Obama, We wish you a Johnny Edwards in a happy new year. A bad year we bring to Bush and his kin, A bad year for Cheney is a happy new year.
We wish you a Mrs. Clinton, We wish you Barack Obama, We wish you a Johnny Edwards in a happy new year, Two thousand and eight the White House goes straight A change of regime means a happy new year.
Everyone here in enchanted Skimbleland wishes you and yours an excellent 2008 — the first year in a long time in which hope might not be a misplaced emotion.
WASHINGTON -- A panel of outside experts has told the Interior Department that the government may not be getting full value for the mineral rights it sells private industry, and that the federal royalty system needs to be revamped.
In a 166-page report, scheduled to be released today, the panel says better training, better audits, improved management and more resources are needed for the department's Minerals Management Service to improve the way it administers development of oil, natural gas and other minerals produced on federal lands. The government collected more than $11 billion in the fiscal year that ended in October, but better management of the program could likely produce much more, according to people familiar with the matter. [...]
The most recent potential revenue-losing problems surfaced in 2004, when four auditors from the service filed lawsuits against the government, claiming that oil and gas companies hadn't complied with reporting requirements. The auditors also claimed that the service had retaliated against them for filing the suits.
This is what happens when you let a sneering unelected oil service CEO (and his hand-picked brand-name blueblood marionette) into the White House.
William McGuire, the UnitedHealth CEO ousted last year in an options-backdating scandal, has cut a deal to settle civil and federal government claims that came out of the options mess.
He’s going to give up the rights to $320 million worth of stock options and forfeit $91 million in his retirement plan, the health insurer said this evening. That’s on top of $200 million of gains from options with questionable grant dates that he already agreed to gave back to UnitedHealth, the WSJ reports. Details about the deal are here.
Yes, those are big numbers. On the other hand, McGuire’s total options haul has been valued at well over $1 billion (it’s unclear how much money he actually wound up with).
It takes me three half-day visits to my Blue Cross HMO, that costs me $825 a month out of pocket, for a fucking antibiotic for which I must pay retail because it's not covered.
McGuire's exit compensation from UnitedHealth, around $1.1 billion, was noted as the largest golden parachute in the history of corporate America. A billion for one lousy CEO! With that kind of money, imagine how many people could treated for [fill in the blank].
It's not only class warfare — it's a war of the healthy against the sick.
At the Josée Bienvenu Gallery, a $20,000 Yuken Teruya sculpture of carved toilet paper rolls commanded much attention. “I love that the artist turns the ordinary into something heartfelt and beautiful,” said Diane Walder, a dermatologist in Miami who was considering the work with her art adviser, Lisa Austin.
What a coincidence! My personal art adviser recently recommended paper towel rolls for my contemporary art collection. But at $40,000 they seemed a bit indulgent because I had stocked up last week at Costco with a case for about $12.
Meanwhile, I am hoping to place my collection of peeled-label beer bottles in the secondary art market for a few hundred thousand.
Four-pointed urethral ring for the treatment of Spermatorrhoea, image no. L0003903. From one of many Golden Ages of Hypocritical Moral Theory, the 19th Century.
Alan Greenspan, who led the U.S. Federal Reserve for 18 years and was revered in the financial markets, was a "very bad'' Fed chairman.
That's the blunt verdict of Patrick Artus, chief economist of Natixis SA and one of France's most listened-to pundits: He is an economic adviser to the French government.
In his latest book ("Les incendiaires: Les banques centrales depassees par la globalisation'' or the arsonists: central banks overtaken by globalization), Artus, 56, blames Greenspan and other central bankers for being so focused on inflation that they failed to prevent real-estate and stock-market bubbles which, in turn, burst and caused pain. [...]
[Interviewer Farah] Nayeri: Joseph Stiglitz went on the record on Nov. 16 as saying that Greenspan had "made a mess'' and that the U.S. now faced a recession. Do you agree?
Artus: Yes. Greenspan was an arsonist and a fireman combined. He derived all his glory from his reaction to the savings-and- loans crisis, to the collapse of Long-Term Capital Management LP, and to Sept. 11, 2001. But LTCM and the savings-and-loans crisis were his doing. He absolutely failed to see where the malfunctions in the U.S. economy were.
Greenspan came up with a phrase, "irrational exuberance,'' in 1997, but he didn't do anything about it.
Nayeri: How would you sum up his track record, then?
Artus: He was a very bad Federal Reserve chairman. He created four major crises: savings and loans, LTCM, new-technology shares, and subprime mortgages.
Nayeri: But surely you will acknowledge that Greenspan saved the planet at crucial turning points?
Artus: Yes, but after the fact. He's congratulated for his role as fireman, but he's the one who started the fire.
