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Red state thesaurus. Hate-filled red staters need love too, so they get their hook-ups arranged by matchmaker Sean Hannity. But that leads to awkward confessions like this: "My lexicon was aggrandized in my 20s by reading William F. Buckley."

{ 10:38 AM }

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"If the American people knew it was closer to, say, 4,000 troops dead and 30,000 wounded, it wouldn't look like such a good trade [for the continued occupation of Iraq]. It might even lead people to question the wisdom of starting the same game all over again in Iran."

{ 11:19 AM }

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The Jeff Gannon variety show, part 1: You're the Top! The entertainment value of the saga of GannonGuckert seems sure to pay many tax-free dividends for weeks to come. On one of the lesser-known radio stations that still plays music, wouldn't it be great to hear a song that goes like this:

You're the Top!

Sung by Republican clients of Jeff Gannon
to the tune of Cole Porter's "You're the Top"

You're the top! You're an online hooker,
You're the top! By the name of Guckert,
You're a prostitute in a business suit disguise.
You're a shill for McClellan
Who writes for Talon,
Telling right-wing lies!

You're the Right, you're a tuneless crooner,
As uptight as a Peggy Nooner.
I'm the worthless john who led you on, a flop!
But if baby I'm the bottom,
You're the top!

You're the top! You're without credentials.
You're the top! But your bare essentials
Serve to take you down in this ruthless town so quick.
Hear the freepers shout
While you're whipping out
Your eight-inch dick!

You're a fake, you're a party stringer,
T-bone steak and a hired swinger.
I'm a homo spree in the GOP, a sop!
But if baby I'm the bottom,
You're the top!

With profuse apologies to Cole Porter, Ella Fitzgerald, etc.

{ 2:29 PM }

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Scraping by on $76,000 a month. While we debate the scourge and the glory of private accounts, I have to admit I've read nearly everything on the subject of Key Lay's retirement but somehow I missed this:

Once the [variable] annuities reach maturity in February 2007, Kenneth and Linda Lay will be guaranteed monthly payments of $43,023 and $32,643, respectively, for life.

For life!

I was hoping to hear those same two words in the context of Ken Lay's prison sentence. After all, he helped "privatize" thousands of his employees' retirement savings and investments right out of existence.

{ 2:39 PM }

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"Poems" for "Jeff Gannon."

There was a "reporter" named James
Who reportedly had many names.
How he'd scream and he'd shout
When his secret was out,
But the actual outing was Plame's.

There was a "reporter" named Guckert
Whose lips were reportedly puckert.
He's hardly a felon
Kissing up to McClellan.
He is simply one dumb motherfuckert.

{ 9:11 PM }

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1,500

{ 1:58 PM }

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Feedom is another word for nothing left to lose. One orbit of the current Social Security debate revolves around the concept of increasing potential returns. But there is another factor that may be as profoundly influential or even more so: increasing fees. You didn't think Wall Street would let you set up your paltry $1,000 account for nothing, did you?

Let's use a "private" 401(k) account example as analogous to what might happen to a hypothetical Bush-league private account. From the US Department of Labor website:

Assume that you are an employee with 35 years until retirement and a current 401(k) account balance of $25,000. If returns on investments in your account over the next 35 years average 7 percent and fees and expenses reduce your average returns by 0.5 percent, your account balance will grow to $227,000 at retirement, even if there are no further contributions to your account. If fees and expenses are 1.5 percent, however, your account balance will grow to only $163,000. The 1 percent difference in fees and expenses would reduce your account balance at retirement by 28 percent.

Fees are how investment institutions make their money. As you might expect, fee schedules tend to follow one formula: the smaller the account, the higher the fees as a percentage of the account. Therefore, based on the Department of Labor example above, the more you fund your retirement using for-profit institutions, the more you lose.

Private account fees will be a stealth tax on your retirement savings — a tax on a tax, the fees coming out of the payroll taxes you will pay to fund the accounts, the same money that now funds Social Security. Republicans will end the so-called double taxation on unearned income (i.e., dividends) for the wealthiest Americans and simultaneously double-tax the retirement savings of the lower and middle classes.

Republicans will drown FDR's New Deal in the bathtub. Wall Street wins. You lose. Tough luck.

Incidentally, thinking about saving more and choosing your own investments for retirement is a legitimate concern for many Americans and should be considered by many more than do now. Fortunately, there is already something that functions in the same way that these ethereal private accounts are supposed to behave as promoted by Bush. They're called IRAs, and you don't have to wait for Republicans to pillage the US Treasury to take advantage of them.

Note to regular readers: No, I'm not coming back to regular posting. I may occasionally offer observations that are somewhat non-redundant with the rest of the blog universe every now and then. Yes, I'm still planning to leave the USA.

{ 10:20 AM }

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