You're the Top!

Sung by Republican clients of Jeff Gannon
to the tune of Cole Porter's "You're the Top"

You're the top! You're an online hooker,
You're the top! By the name of Guckert,
You're a prostitute in a business suit disguise.
You're a shill for McClellan
Who writes for Talon,
Telling right-wing lies!

You're the Right, you're a tuneless crooner,
As uptight as a Peggy Nooner.
I'm the worthless john who led you on, a flop!
But if baby I'm the bottom,
You're the top!

You're the top! You're without credentials.
You're the top! But your bare essentials
Serve to take you down in this ruthless town so quick.
Hear the freepers shout
While you're whipping out
Your eight-inch dick!

You're a fake, you're a party stringer,
T-bone steak and a hired swinger.
I'm a homo spree in the GOP, a sop!
But if baby I'm the bottom,
You're the top!