culture, politics, commentary, criticism

Monday, October 22, 2007
Abstinence makes the hardon harder. As I was driving through the state of Indiana this weekend, I noticed this billboard:

I find it difficult to believe that a billboard has any dampening influence on the sexual behavior of teenagers. So, for sheer ineffectiveness, this goofy hip-kid-abstinence image and its idiotic placement on a secondary highway amount to a fantastic waste of money for some fool.

Except that I am that fool. It's especially disturbing that I financed this billboard through my taxes — as witnessed by the website's listing of the program's federal grantees.

When right-wingers tag me with the scarlet letter of liberalism and insist that I hate America, this is one of the top reasons why they're correct. Because I hate American stupidity, especially very expensive and very harmful American stupidity, of which there are thousands of examples in the last seven years alone.

(And you know what, kids? Indiana is wrong. Sex shouldn't wait. You're not worth it. You're just like the rest of us and nothing special. So go ahead and fuck like everyone else who has ever been on earth since the beginning of time. God connected your genitals to the pleasure center of your brain, your hypothalamus — it would be a sin not to use them. Too bad the state of Indiana won't help you learn how to do it right — free of disease and unwanted pregnancy.)

Greatest Hits · Alternatives to First Command Financial Planning · First Command, last resort, Part 3 · Part 2 · Part 1 · Stealing $50K from a widow: Wells Real Estate · Leo Wells, REITs and divine wealth · Sex-crazed Red State teenagers · What I hate: a manifesto · Spawn of Darleen Druyun · All-American high school sex party · Why is Ken Lay smiling? · Poppy's Enron birthday party · The Saudi money laundry and the president's uncle · The sentence of Enron's John Forney · The holiness of Neil Bush's marriage · The Silence of Cheney: a poem · South Park Christians · Capitalist against Bush: Warren Buffett · Fastow childen vs. Enron children · Give your prescription money to your old boss · Neil Bush, hard-working matchmaker · Republicans against fetuses and pregnant women · Emboldened Ken Lay · Faith-based jails · Please die for me so I can skip your funeral · A brief illustrated history of the Republican Party · Nancy Victory · Soldiers become accountants · Beware the Merrill Lynch mob · Darleen Druyun's $5.7 billion surprise · First responder funding · Hoovering the country · First Command fifty percent load · Ken Lay and the Atkins diet · Halliburton WMD · Leave no CEO behind · August in Crawford · Elaine Pagels · Profitable slave labor at Halliburton · Tom Hanks + Mujahideen · Sharon & Neilsie Bush · One weekend a month, or eternity · Is the US pumping Iraqi oil to Kuwait? · Cheney's war · Seth Glickenhaus: Capitalist against Bush · Martha's blow job · Mark Belnick: Tyco Catholic nut · Cheney's deferred Halliburton compensation · Jeb sucks sugar cane · Poindexter & LifeLog · American Family Association panic · Riley Bechtel and the crony economy · The Book of Sharon (Bush) · The Art of Enron · Plunder convention · Waiting in Kuwait: Jay Garner · What's an Army private worth? · Barbara Bodine, Queen of Baghdad · Sneaky bastards at Halliburton · Golf course and barbecue military strategy · Enron at large · Recent astroturf · Cracker Chic 2 · No business like war business · Big Brother · Martha Stewart vs. Thomas White · Roger Kimball, disappointed Republican poetry fan · Cheney, Lay, Afghanistan · Terry Lynn Barton, crimes of burning · Feasting at the Cheney trough · Who would Jesus indict? · Return of the Carlyle Group · Duct tape is for little people · GOP and bad medicine · Sears Tower vs Mt Rushmore · Scared Christians · Crooked playing field · John O'Neill: The man who knew · Back to the top

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