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Anne Heche and her unpreventable mother. Do you remember those innocent times when the World Trade Center still stood? Back before the gay marriage wars, before Terri Schiavo, before Tom DeLay became a household name, before anthrax, before spider holes, before duct tape and Ashcroft and Ridge and terror alerts and Ready.gov.

In retrospect, one of the things that haunted me most about the innocent period immediately preceding 9-11-01 was the fact that I had wasted valuable time thinking about the wacky Anne Heche, Ellen DeGeneres's former lover, who the week prior had appeared with Barbara Walters on 20/20 and was eating up media bandwidth with her newfound heterosexuality and her second personality, Celestia, who was from another planet and spoke directly to God.

Now we learn that Anne's mother Nancy Heche is with the despicable Focus on the Family "Love Won Out" effort ("promoting the truth that homosexuality is preventable and treatable"): "As a single parent who experienced the international media rush during her daughter Anne Heche’s highly visible relationship with Ellen DeGeneres, and a widow who endured her husband’s diagnosis of and subsequent death from AIDS, Nancy brings a spiritual focus to the effects of homosexuality in a family."

Note to Nancy Heche: Sorry for your troubles, but just because your family was totally fucked up doesn't credential you in any way to provide answers to others. Many, many families don't feel the need to "prevent" or "treat" the "effects" of homosexuals in their midst. Instead, they simply love and accept them. Actual compassion is a natural act once you free yourself of the crazy "truths" you have chosen to believe.

The arrogant conceit of Nancy Heche's otherworldly approach leads us to believe that she too is from another planet and speaks directly to God, just like the product of her vast parental insights: her daughter Celestia.

{ 4:36 PM }

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