culture, politics, commentary, criticism

Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Anne Heche and her unpreventable mother. Do you remember those innocent times when the World Trade Center still stood? Back before the gay marriage wars, before Terri Schiavo, before Tom DeLay became a household name, before anthrax, before spider holes, before duct tape and Ashcroft and Ridge and terror alerts and Ready.gov.

In retrospect, one of the things that haunted me most about the innocent period immediately preceding 9-11-01 was the fact that I had wasted valuable time thinking about the wacky Anne Heche, Ellen DeGeneres's former lover, who the week prior had appeared with Barbara Walters on 20/20 and was eating up media bandwidth with her newfound heterosexuality and her second personality,
Celestia, who was from another planet and spoke directly to God.

Now we learn that Anne's mother Nancy Heche is with the despicable Focus on the Family "Love Won Out" effort ("promoting the truth that homosexuality is preventable and treatable"): "As a single parent who experienced the international media rush during her daughter Anne Heche’s highly visible relationship with Ellen DeGeneres, and a widow who endured her husband’s diagnosis of and subsequent death from AIDS, Nancy brings a spiritual focus to the effects of homosexuality in a family."

Note to Nancy Heche: Sorry for your troubles, but just because your family was totally fucked up doesn't credential you in any way to provide answers to others. Many, many families don't feel the need to "prevent" or "treat" the "effects" of homosexuals in their midst. Instead, they simply love and accept them. Actual compassion is a natural act once you free yourself of the crazy "truths" you have chosen to believe.

The arrogant conceit of Nancy Heche's otherworldly approach leads us to believe that she too is from another planet and speaks directly to God, just like the product of her vast parental insights: her daughter Celestia.
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Greatest Hits · Alternatives to First Command Financial Planning · First Command, last resort, Part 3 · Part 2 · Part 1 · Stealing $50K from a widow: Wells Real Estate · Leo Wells, REITs and divine wealth · Sex-crazed Red State teenagers · What I hate: a manifesto · Spawn of Darleen Druyun · All-American high school sex party · Why is Ken Lay smiling? · Poppy's Enron birthday party · The Saudi money laundry and the president's uncle · The sentence of Enron's John Forney · The holiness of Neil Bush's marriage · The Silence of Cheney: a poem · South Park Christians · Capitalist against Bush: Warren Buffett · Fastow childen vs. Enron children · Give your prescription money to your old boss · Neil Bush, hard-working matchmaker · Republicans against fetuses and pregnant women · Emboldened Ken Lay · Faith-based jails · Please die for me so I can skip your funeral · A brief illustrated history of the Republican Party · Nancy Victory · Soldiers become accountants · Beware the Merrill Lynch mob · Darleen Druyun's $5.7 billion surprise · First responder funding · Hoovering the country · First Command fifty percent load · Ken Lay and the Atkins diet · Halliburton WMD · Leave no CEO behind · August in Crawford · Elaine Pagels · Profitable slave labor at Halliburton · Tom Hanks + Mujahideen · Sharon & Neilsie Bush · One weekend a month, or eternity · Is the US pumping Iraqi oil to Kuwait? · Cheney's war · Seth Glickenhaus: Capitalist against Bush · Martha's blow job · Mark Belnick: Tyco Catholic nut · Cheney's deferred Halliburton compensation · Jeb sucks sugar cane · Poindexter & LifeLog · American Family Association panic · Riley Bechtel and the crony economy · The Book of Sharon (Bush) · The Art of Enron · Plunder convention · Waiting in Kuwait: Jay Garner · What's an Army private worth? · Barbara Bodine, Queen of Baghdad · Sneaky bastards at Halliburton · Golf course and barbecue military strategy · Enron at large · Recent astroturf · Cracker Chic 2 · No business like war business · Big Brother · Martha Stewart vs. Thomas White · Roger Kimball, disappointed Republican poetry fan · Cheney, Lay, Afghanistan · Terry Lynn Barton, crimes of burning · Feasting at the Cheney trough · Who would Jesus indict? · Return of the Carlyle Group · Duct tape is for little people · GOP and bad medicine · Sears Tower vs Mt Rushmore · Scared Christians · Crooked playing field · John O'Neill: The man who knew · Back to the top






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