Supergenius J. Craig Venter plans to create new forms of Republican voters in a dish in his ultra-top secret laboratory. Recently returning from his guest appearance as the insane genetic engineer on South Park (the favorite TV show of "South Park Republicans"), Venter's newest venture was reported by the Washington Post:
The project raises philosophical, ethical and practical questions. For instance, if a man-made organism proved able to survive and reproduce only under a narrow range of laboratory conditions, could it really be considered life? More broadly, do scientists have any moral right to create new organisms*?
...Scientists don't usually announce their experiments in advance, but Venter said he felt this one needed to be brought to the attention of policymakers** in Washington, since it could create a new set of tools that terrorists or hostile states might exploit to make biological weapons. "We'll have a debate on what should be published and what shouldn't," Venter said. "We may not disclose all the details that would teach somebody else how to do this."
Decoding the genome gives fresh meaning to "political science." Like most research, this research sounds incredibly important and valuable – to the researchers. The rest of us:
fucked.
