culture, politics, commentary, criticism

Friday, May 26, 2006
Don't make me puke. More sickening revelations from the Enron trial, this time from the
Wall Street Journal:
After the verdicts were announced, Mr. Lay joined more than a dozen friends and family members in a circle in one corner of the courtroom to pray. One of Mr. Lay's supporters, Rev. Bill Lawson, could be heard invoking the story of Jesus, "who was convicted and even executed," he said.
Comparing Ken Lay to Jesus Christ is even worse than comparing George Bush to his favorite fetishistic disguise: anyone in uniform.
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Bullshit out of fashion. Enron helped create Bush-Cheney, and we need to remember that yesterday's convictions are but foreshadowing of tomorrow's, once all the crimes of the Bush White House are brought to light. Lay's record-setting contributions to Republicans, Bush's "Mission Accomplished" signage and "bring 'em on" swagger, Cheney's intelligence-warping, Rumsfeld's idiotic plans for the military — it's all falling apart. After 9-11 people wanted to believe, but the bullshit is all so
unbelievable:
The [Enron] jurors spoke emotionally about the tremendous sacrifice made by themselves, their families and their co-workers to allow them to sit through this case for 17 weeks.

"We were responsible. We were always accountable. We had to find a way to circle back and tie up loose ends. And I think those (Enron) employees were entitled to the same thing," said payroll manager Carolyn Kuchera.

Wendy Vaughan, a business owner, said they were given "a puzzle with about 25,000 pieces dumped on the table."

The jury, a remarkably alert group through the trial and notably well-spoken after it, said it was the evidence on the stand and in the 20 boxes of paperwork that persuaded it. It didn't buy that there was a conspiracy of government cooperators to lie. Though some admired Lay and Skilling, they also thought they lied on the stand.

"I wanted to believe very, very badly what they were saying, very much so," Vaughan said.
Isn't it fascinating that the Enron jurors, in their insistence on responsibility and accountability, held themselves to a higher standard than the CEOs they were trying and the President bought by the CEOs?

Seventeen weeks of bullshit from the most expensive defense attorneys stolen money could buy, and the Enron jurors didn't crack.

Enron jurors are some of the truest American patriots alive today.
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Thursday, May 25, 2006
Exactly how often do George and Laura fuck? In what positions? How often do Dick and Lynne fuck? How about daughter Mary? Scalia? Rice? Rumsfeld? How about Ken Mehlman: pitcher or catcher? What is Grover Norquist's idea of foreplay? What are Abramoff's kinks? How vigorous is Karl Rove? Where's the list of who Jeff Gannon fucked inside the White House? What about the quickly-forgotten Porter Goss and his hookers? And WaPo sex columnist David Broder — what's up with his sex life, or lack thereof?

These are important questions that deserve accurate answers. Because if we as a nation can spend our public discourse
tittering in veiled language about the marriage of the Clintons, demonstrably more popular in or out of power than any Republicans, then we can spend a little of it speculating about Republican genital activity as well. They're the Abstinence Party, after all.

That would be fair and balanced.
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Enron guilt. One of the most important things to remember about Ken Lay is that he and Cheney secretly set US energy policy in March 2001, six months before 9-11, while they pored over maps of
Iraqi oil fields.

This fraudster, this officially acknowledged conspirator, was secretly in cahoots with Dick Cheney, the former CEO of Halliburton.

History will not be kind to the Bush-Cheney administration.
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Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Lord and masturbator. A student at Pillsbury Baptist Bible College was charged in the theft of his roommate's debit card, which was used to pay for more than $2,300 worth of calls to
phone sex lines.
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World's stupidest CEOs. It's amazing how little the CEOs of the Fortune 500 understand, by their own admission.
WSJ:
Prosecutors alleged Mr. Lay signed 27 documents agreeing to abide by the lending restrictions, called Regulation U, but nonetheless used the loans to buy stock, or repay Enron loans in excess of the 50% limitation. After one loan was discovered to be in violation, he was warned not to violate the provision and subsequently borrowed from another bank, they said.

An FBI agent testified that by skirting the lending provisions Mr. Lay was able to avoid about $12 million in taxes and stock-exercise costs
that would have been required to bring the loans into compliance at the end of 1999.

At the time most of the loans were requested, Mr. Lay said he didn't "fully understand it, and I'm not sure my staff did either." Questioned by his defense attorney, Mr. Lay testified that the signatures on several documents were mechanically affixed and dated by an assistant while he was traveling.
With the magic of his Autopen, Ken Lay managed not to pay $12 million in taxes and all he can say is "whoops."

Where was Lay traveling while his Autopen saved him $12 million? Paris, then on to Davos, then India. And all because of a little misunderstanding.

Gosh darn it, CEOing is "hard work"!
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Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Crawl back to Crawford already.
"You know, my buddies in Texas take a look at Washington and say, why are you even up there, man? Come on home."
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View the Archive

Greatest Hits · Alternatives to First Command Financial Planning · First Command, last resort, Part 3 · Part 2 · Part 1 · Stealing $50K from a widow: Wells Real Estate · Leo Wells, REITs and divine wealth · Sex-crazed Red State teenagers · What I hate: a manifesto · Spawn of Darleen Druyun · All-American high school sex party · Why is Ken Lay smiling? · Poppy's Enron birthday party · The Saudi money laundry and the president's uncle · The sentence of Enron's John Forney · The holiness of Neil Bush's marriage · The Silence of Cheney: a poem · South Park Christians · Capitalist against Bush: Warren Buffett · Fastow childen vs. Enron children · Give your prescription money to your old boss · Neil Bush, hard-working matchmaker · Republicans against fetuses and pregnant women · Emboldened Ken Lay · Faith-based jails · Please die for me so I can skip your funeral · A brief illustrated history of the Republican Party · Nancy Victory · Soldiers become accountants · Beware the Merrill Lynch mob · Darleen Druyun's $5.7 billion surprise · First responder funding · Hoovering the country · First Command fifty percent load · Ken Lay and the Atkins diet · Halliburton WMD · Leave no CEO behind · August in Crawford · Elaine Pagels · Profitable slave labor at Halliburton · Tom Hanks + Mujahideen · Sharon & Neilsie Bush · One weekend a month, or eternity · Is the US pumping Iraqi oil to Kuwait? · Cheney's war · Seth Glickenhaus: Capitalist against Bush · Martha's blow job · Mark Belnick: Tyco Catholic nut · Cheney's deferred Halliburton compensation · Jeb sucks sugar cane · Poindexter & LifeLog · American Family Association panic · Riley Bechtel and the crony economy · The Book of Sharon (Bush) · The Art of Enron · Plunder convention · Waiting in Kuwait: Jay Garner · What's an Army private worth? · Barbara Bodine, Queen of Baghdad · Sneaky bastards at Halliburton · Golf course and barbecue military strategy · Enron at large · Recent astroturf · Cracker Chic 2 · No business like war business · Big Brother · Martha Stewart vs. Thomas White · Roger Kimball, disappointed Republican poetry fan · Cheney, Lay, Afghanistan · Terry Lynn Barton, crimes of burning · Feasting at the Cheney trough · Who would Jesus indict? · Return of the Carlyle Group · Duct tape is for little people · GOP and bad medicine · Sears Tower vs Mt Rushmore · Scared Christians · Crooked playing field · John O'Neill: The man who knew · Back to the top






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