Because I care.

Because I care. The thousands of you Googlers who arrive here searching for "blow job classes illinois" are no doubt disappointed by my post referring to Martha Stewart's blow job — that is, the case made against Martha Stewart's stock trade being very reminiscent of the case made against another famous Democrat way back in 1998.

So let's get right to the good stuff. What you came here for is blow job classes in Illinois, specifically in Chicago, so here's exactly what you want: G Boutique's "How to Give a Great Blow Job" class.

Description: "The hummer, the yummer, the flicker, the tickler... learn these and lots more tips and techniques. Take this class and Blow him away!" You can even make it a private class with up to 20 friends. It's not clear whether Sadie Allison's Tickle His Pickle is the required textbook, whether there will be a pop quiz, or what will be on the final exam. Emission accomplished?

Good luck. While you're boning up and studying hard, think of Skimble!

You're welcome.